So I was talking to her on the phone last night and had to mute it so I could take a crap.
Side Note: My mute button doesn't work.
lesson #67 learned in college: a three day old margarita, is still a margarita.
Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
i love that feeling when you wake up and have no idea how you got back to your dorm or why you have mac and cheese on your cheeks and eyelashes in your mouth
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
Starting St Patrick's Weekend, non stop flights on Pacific Whorelines to the scenic HotMessXpress. Get the cougars ready, it's gonna get weird.
Are you coming to class or was the dick pic this morning your way of saying not today?
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
Dad danced with a girl half his age and her boyfriend just sat at the bar and waited for dad to be done. I bought pity nachos.
just saw a kid get pissed on buy a tiger at the zoo. His dad is rofling and the kid is crying. I think I have to go make a new friend
I lost my bra at his grandma's house so there's that.
Then, he ate me out while I watched Bo Burnham. Best. Night. Ever.
I'm to childless and to single to be asking myself why I'm so sticky
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