i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
Why would I want to inherit a sex machine used by my grandma?
I'm sitting at the bar eating dinner next to a nerd, a guy in a 10 gallon hat, and a policeman. I feel like I joined The Village People
All I did today at work was try to remember in vivid detail what your cock looks like.
I think misery doesn't even think of me as company anymore. I'm an unofficial roommate.
I was going to call you an awful person for that. but then i realized we're both awful people.
Really* awful people.
I think I actually have rug burn on my eye.
Wait..I think something else did happen last night my vagina is too pleased for this level of hangover..
And that's why we do second round interviews for possible roommates.
I bet, I woke up to you like naked at 4 in the morning shoving a sandwich in your face
I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.
So, I had a dream last night that involved you as an actual cloaked Captain America and a lot of weird sex, and I didn't hate it.
it's the international house of making me almost fucking shit myself
remind me again why we thought drinking hungarian moonshine was a good idea
2020 sucks, I want a refund
Randomize
