It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
Well she just peed in a pot and is now trying to boil it
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
Just watched a deer get gangbanged in my front yard by 5 bucks. Wtf animal kingdom
I've decided I want to blow you wearing a santa hat.
Aren't rabbit ears more seasonally appropriate?
I just made the answer to all my security questions "fuck you" with various levels of ! marks. I may regret this in the morning.
I heard that clinking noise from behind me and I already knew you were whipping out a Smirnoff in class. Again.
You kept saying you only wanted to drink until you were sleepy. You succeeded if "sleepy" means you sleepied around with 4/6 of the guys there.
The guy at the ER said it was the first time he's given stitches for a funneling accident. Then he seemed upset that I took pride in that...
WE SHOULD MAKE A WORKOUT ROUTINE CALLED BARCARDIO
Sometimes the gods of alcohol choose to take you on a mysterious journey and you just have to go with it
he spent an hour trying to rescue a bug from the sink. turned out to be a sesame seed.
If body pillows had a built in vibrator attached I would literally never need a boyfriend again
I slept on her porch...in her dads handcuffs
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
Randomize
