I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
you are the weird ass hat to my lady gaga
Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.
i just saw someone crawling up the stairs to the dorm while screaming "i have the best vagina!"
Okay my swimming class is like the fatass/diabetic guide to losing 2 pounds by christmas
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
I wonder if a fish could survive in vodka
I could
He asked me not to hook up with anyone else because it would hurt his feelings.. while his arm was around his pregnant girlfriend.
I don't know what happened this summer, I've lost my sense of morality. All I do now is work, get drunk, and have sex near national landmarks.
Just put me in your contacts as coyote
gin. gin. Gin. GIN GIN GINGINFFdJH
I woke up with a treasure map drawn on my ass. Whattt.
I'm eating ice cream out of my purse
You peed on a flamingo?!?
Randomize
