And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
nailed a girl as she was wearing a darth vader shirt. Cross that one off my list.
I feel like our bond is deeper now that we're both sleeping with married men. now we're really bffls
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
You stole a frozen pizza from the freezer, stuffed it in the back of your shirt then proceeded to leave the party.
I woke up to a hotel manager knocking on my car ( window was down) and asking if I was ok
I got kicked out of the hotel after wandering into the banquet kitchen at 2am trying to find the shrimp....so we're power napping in the car and then driving to madison.
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
Executive order 941: BRING ME THE FINEST PANCAKES!
You have got to stop watching the West Wing before going out.
Every person I've ever had sex with is in Chipotle right now.
So last night, I bought mother's day cards and the Plan B pill.
The cop busted in, made the music stop, and goes "GUYS LISTEN UP! DRINK, DO DRUGS, HAVE UNPROTECTED SEX, I DONT GIVE A FUCK, JUST QUIET DOWN!" Best. Cop. Ever.
Also, we can't be seen together looking suspicious or sexually satisfied
Someone made a Christmas song to the Flintstones theme and I'm suing for emotional distress.
Randomize
