just got out of a noise viloation because the cop recognized my roomate as his favorite chipotle burrito roller. just another reason I love ritos
Care to explain to me why theres a baby food jar filled with semen in my fridge? or why its labeled as unicorn sweat?
This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
Woke up with 3 sports bras for underwear. Valiant effort drunk me.
We tried to line dance with everyone but it turned into drunken stumbling and attempting to grind on random frat boys. I feel that this might turn into an every Thursday thing.
at least you know where his tattoos end, so it wasn't a complete waste of time.
And I think short bridesmaids dresses are the best idea especially for bathroom sex
we went 3 years between hookups and she got a lot better. Amanda's moving way up the booty call pecking order.
She told me she's dating him because his apartment is a block from Taco Bell. I don't know how she's not fat.
From now on when a guy sends me a dick picture I'm going to send them a picture of some other dudes dick.
cool, get new shit, I dnt want the same old if it's my last drink ever
The world isn't ending you idiot. I'll grab beer
When the theology professor asked me what touched me most about this trip to Rome, I guess "the guy from last night" wasn't the proper response.
I'm determined to sit on that face.
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like picking cocaine boogers out of your nose at your parents house.
Randomize
