Food network will be on but we won't be watching
O by "watching" I mean "background noise"
I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
I just projectile vomited in a Methodist church parking lot. If Jesus didn't love me before he sure as hell doesn't now.
jess passed out on the pong table. it was depressing until we started singing shania twain an hour later and heard her muffled voice singing along.
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
if that dog is afraid of alcohol then he's no dog of mine
Please don't tell me I was shouting "I'm bleeding from my vagina" in front of my ex-boyfriend and his new girlfriend.
My walk of shame got a new perspective when I walked into his livingroom and found his roommate fucking some chick on the coffee table.
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
You just kept insisting that you and the homeless man went way back, and that you bonded over how cold you both were.
It's hard to be a gentleman when a girl pauses her karaoke version of "a whole new world," and proceeds to tell the entire bar that she wants your cock in her mouth.
YOU DONT EAT A GIRL OUT AND THEN GO PUKE ASSHOLE
We just stood outside and debated the existence of mermaids for about 20 min. Is this what too drunk is?
Drunk you decided to patrol campus as the Arrow and tell random bystanders "YOU HAVE FAILED THIS CAMPUS." Campus P.D. did not join your crusade.
That explains the nerd bow & arrow...
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog
Randomize
