I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
Remember when the only STD we had to worry about were hickies? Those were the days
We had sex this morning and after she goes, " So are we going to do something for Valentines Day?"
both roomates are passed out on the floor. I feel like I'm missing out on crucial bonding time by sleeping in my bed.
Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
i feel like his penis is a security blanet. i cant fall asleep unless its in my hand
She bit a glass in half.
Some guy is walking around the bar with his dick out. Health code violation?
Ha ha. You should see the things I'm doing to my body at Bob Evans.
he was definitely TRYING to give me herpes.
He's tweaking out . If he's on fucking bathsalts and eats my face like a chalupa pull the plug. I don't want to live with no fucking face. Pull. The. Plug.
I have a vague memory of you tryin to ride a unicycle through jimmy johns
Good night I hope you dream about knitting and threesomes
Idk how I even got accepted into college because literally the only things my brain ever thinks about are YouTube videos of baby animals and sex.
Sorry I steam cleaned at 1:30 in the morning and that i'm such a drunk dumb child. On the bright side, my carpet has ever looked better.
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