you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
The walk of shame is far, far worse on crutches.
Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
Its piss that you smell... I borrowed that shirt last week. Sooo, wanna grab some laundry soap on your way home? And good luck on your date.
Trying to grind with crutches was not a success
No, I've only ever seen his brother's dick. So when I have lucid sex dreams, I just do a little cut and paste in my mind and stick his bro's package onto him.
Walmart at night is scary enough without having to run into people you've slept with
if I just puked into my own hand, but then cleaned it up quickly, quietly, and calmly, am I still a trainwreck?
Dude, I had no choice. I was defending my genitals.
I just imagined you going baby-crazy and trying to shove him up into your uterus. Yes, I'm aware he's 7 years old.
also I have no idea whose underpants I'm wearing right now but they're super comfy and I'm not giving them back ever
WELL THEN WHAT DAY IS IT?!?! This whole having to choose between ruining my future and ruining my liver is totally killing my vibe
The way I see it, there's 2 types of friends. Those you should do drugs with, and those you really,really shouldn't.
Omg I just looked in my purse from last night.. 10 bags of gummy bears.
Randomize
