can you take me to a tanning bed
sure, why though?
i have to go once so i can blame these herpes on the tanning bed and she won't get suspicious
He made me stop in the middle of giving him a blowjob so he could go get his glasses. because he "wanted to see". I need to stop dating nerds.
you flashed the cab driver so we didn't have to pay the fare and then you decided you were on a roll so you flashed the guy at the maccas drive through... safe to say your boob job was the best idea ever!!
The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi.
he told me he was watching a movie and he'd be over later and i asked how long. he said 8 inches give or take. you cease to amaze me with the guys you set me up with.
He legit asked if he could come over for a hug. I feel like I've been booty called by a 12 year old.
I need to stop smoking. I just talked to corn.
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
for the record, you never really realize how drunk you still are until you get on rollerskates...
So as a result of a tragic manscaping accident I've had to shave all the hair off of my legs. The result is... not great
This strip club is mediocre. Talent is fine. Fung shui is bad.
You opened the door to your apartment and shrieked "THE CHAIR IS GONE!" then punted a bag of votive candles
Plus he is a pilot so I could give him flight dome
I want to fling myself into the sun
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
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