We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
my sister and i are watching a movie and pregaming together. and by pregaming i mean shes not drinking since she 14 and im drinking alone.
is wine microwaveable?
I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
he must have thought the song was "ejacuate on the dance floor"
I don't care what he thinks. My vagina has an open door policy.
I hope you don't have to start the day explaining to me how you failed to turn "Can I practice my belly dancing in your apartment" into all night sex.
Her roomates have been scoring her hookups. I got 8.9, best of the week!
Its not that hard, just find a girl reading 50 shades of grey and point her my way
we shared soup. that is literally the extent of my romantic life right now
Does taking an old homeless guy to the strip club, buying him lap dances, and calling him pops all night count as a good deed???
He bought me a burrito. I introduced him as "Horse-Dicked Jake" all night. My debt has been repaid.
I am going to buy some m-80's and keep a bucket of them in the bathroom. That way I can just depth charge the toilet before each time I use it. Lets see how those snakes like cheap Chinese explosives
I take Paypal, cash, sexual favors, and roasted red potatoes with garlic as payment. You choose.
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