Why do my orgasm prompt her to begin using babytalk EVERYTIME?!
You were face down, at your computer, surrounded by beer bottles listening a bagpipes version of amazing grace.
At least we kept it together. It's people like him who yell at bushes that give acid a bad name
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
I found bruises on my neck from barfing out the window.
They said an hour before I even see a doctor...and they noticed the shots tally on my arm.
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
He kept checkin to make sure you were still alive after you passed out on his bed, After like the 4th time he walked back in there you were naked on his bed eating an apple, claiming he needed to be the Adam to your Eve..That drunk..
Whiskey dick is like insurance for making bad decisions
Someone younger than me just got married. Send help and vodka
So I have been told that I licked your eyebrows last night
PUT DOWN THE JOINT AND STEP AWAY FROM THE TRUSTAFARIAN
There's no sexy way to moan the name Ernest. Or Ernie. This relationship is fucked
it was a 'fall asleep on the bathroom floor after puking bc the cold tile is legit more comfortable than your bed' kind of night.
So random question: what's a good way to tell your brother that his Skype sex kept you awake last night? I'm not really sure how that conversation begins.
Randomize
