my vagina is like the nba. its where amazing happens.
I told my boyfriend my favorite food was strawberry poptarts, now my email inbox is getting spammed with nude pics of him with his dick in a poptart box..
if you do not get any action from him tonight, I am personally walking my drunk ass over there grabbing his tongue and sticking it in your mouth. this is getting ridiculous
shut up. I wear heels bigger than your dick
His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
Sorry, can't come over. I have to spend time with my niece. Her Dad ignores her and I don't want her to have male attention issues like you.
i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
just 'accidentally' changed my relationship status to 'in an open relationship' just to see what offers I might get if I were to dump him. it's not looking good
I'm sitting on our balcony drunk. And in my underwear. Our relationship with our neighbors may improve.
Do you think if I tell the hot Santa at work that I want a sugar daddy for Christmas that he'll get the hint?
It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
as he was fingering me, all I was thinking about was how lucky his girlfriend is...
He's saved in my phone as 'MURICA. I think it's safe to say I'm not exactly taking him seriously.
According to the arrest report, I shouted "no, YOU put some pants on" at the cop. Downhill from there.
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