Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
Dude it was weird. The strippers vagina tasted kind of like your mother's.
You know you're on day 1 of your period when the new mcdonalds commercial makes you cry
He tried peeing out of the sunroof.
but i'm paying and its not a date cause he's got a gf and i'm hooking up with his roommate tomorrow night
Why don't we skip the roadtrip entirely, save us the trip, and go straight to jail?
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
its like what part of i just threw up mcdonalds breakfast means i want to make out with you?
You told me if you could get your shoes on, you deserved a coke and rum. We never made it to the party.
to have them in my mouth would be like meeting a unicorn while floating on a cloud of glitter
I know it's my dream I got hurt enough to leave work but not hurt enough to stop drinking
I found a loose wire in my thermostat. Couldn't find the pliers, so I used a nipple clamp to fix it.
Ah Christ I think I've reached the single life mentality 100%. I just inquired a photographer about a photo shoot with my dog.
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
Randomize
