You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
i just shoved 27 marshmallows in my mouth
well thats a nice change of pace from what you normally put in your mouth
Shit sorry. Maybe I wont give you this sweet ass fanny pack I found in my parents attic
You may see me on espn tomorrow drunk, half naked, and selling articles of clothing to rich cougars like i did last year, but i will NOT be drinking shitty beer
Our kitchen sink faucet is leaking, so I set a pitcher under it to catch water for Kool-Aid tomorrow rather than turn on the faucet. The environment owes me.
Well the weddings in 4 days so I already got the eightball lined up and the wii fit all warmed up. Still wanna bet I wont lose 20 pounds by the wedding?
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
I remember desperately screaming that I love my life and running in zig zags all the way home
the guy sitting next to me at the bar has a patrick swayze tattoo hovering over a roast beef sandwich. 'merica.
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
Also, I'm kinda hungover this morning and I need to wire money to my lawyer. So this is what adulthood feels like
I brought a travel sized bottle of baby powder and sprinkled it on all of the couples making out on the wall in the basement
He gave me an extra phone charger for the other side of the bed the other night. Is that love?
Randomize