Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
unlike you, ive never imagined darth vader masturbating
so, the parking garage attendent caught us humping in the car. long story short, we have free parking whenever we want! take that abstinence.
What's bad is when she said "what hobo did you steal this dick from?"
you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
At least I tried to be smart when I brought the alarm clock into the bathroom just in case I fell asleep.
aaaaaand im pretty certain i told that boy i just met that "his balls better be out tomorrow"
3 a.m. laundry plus 100 proof peppermint schnapps does not turn out well. Not only is there a puddle of detergent outside the laundry room that I spilled, but my clothes were found in the dryer wit a box of Franzia and a 40. Good thing I was too drunk to turn it on.
It's annoying. I only date people who are 6 foot 3, drug dealers, or 2 years older than me.
do you know how ratchet you have to be to get kicked out of a drag club on Halloween weekend??
I found a half composed text to you this morning and all it said was HELP M. Is that how I ended up at the bottom of the stairwell in only a tee-shirt and one heel?
considering I never received the text I would go with 'yes'.
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
I love 4am trips to the ER. I feel so responsible for actually making it all the way here.
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
There are no winners in a lube eating competition.
Randomize
