how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
If I could text you the sound of me vomming, I would.
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
I think the fact that my first kiss is now in a porno says a lot about why my life is the way it is
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
We need to buy some popsicles so we can remind ourselves we're good at this.
basically theres shrimp everywhere. splattered on the walls, in the carpet, its bad. ohh theyre never gonna get the smell out.
I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
I've had to much cheese to give a fuck about anything. im tired.
i told the cop we knew everyone at the party, it was 250 of our closest friends and she's like funny nobody on the balcony knew whose house this was
Thats why they were on the balcony!
Just read 119 best sex positions. I wanna try 107 of them. Can I put you down for 50?
The only thing I like when I am high is sex. And Cheez Its. But mostly sex.
He did 5 five hand stand push ups and took off his shirt for a barbarian flex. Some girl took off her shirt and threw it at him
I got off F O U R times, just because he wanted to hear me moan. He is my hero.
Best neighbors ever! They found the guy ive been wanting as a booty call and got me invited to the party the guy was at and gave me alcohol so i could be tipsy when met him. im never moving.
Randomize
