we should start having sex in the shower. less clean up.
the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
Do you think I can haggle my way to discounted weed on 4.21?
You know the gilmore girls would be alright if it was on mute the whole time
i was wearing footie pjs. how could there be confusion as to who i hooked up with, thats not something you forget
She just told me she had a double jointed jaw and winked at me while eating her bananna. That's not possible right?
You know it's been a while when you're having to resort to positive conditioning to get women
Things are very odd on my 29th hour of being awake. Thought there was a bird in my lecture hall and it was just a girl putting up her hair. What even
You've fucked so many I should get a word bank when you make me guess these things.
If you're still up for that roadtrip, I managed to end up in Louisiana and could use a ride home.
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
IT IS EARTH DAY, RECORD STORE DAY, 4/20 EVE, AND SATURDAY ALL AT THE SAME TIME!
He was singing R-E-S-P-E-C-T to a stripper between motorboats while our HR manager cheered him on.
Why can't he just dump me? This is like a baby seal clubbing the hunter
Just threw up in a baggy on the airplane. The guys next to me clapped and bought me a jack and coke.
Livin the dream
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