Thanks for stranding me with th douchebag award recipients
I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
well I washed the adderal like an idiot. the capsules broke but the beads inside were intact. so my landlady came in and caught me licking the dryer lint screen
You peed for a solid 5 minutes last night and turned around halfway through to give everyone watching a thumbs up
who paints a picture of their own dick and sends it to people. i dont know if its borderline crazy or just fucking genius...
The fairy wings and cowboy hats were not the issue. The bag of cocaine that I held in the air as we drove in the parade might have been.
I'm going to need to borrow your helmet cam for my Wednesday night blackouts.
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
He just told me the blow job I gave him was like a journey
I thought my period ended but I felt it again as soon as Pitbull started playing
This may be the alcohol talking, but I'm pretty sure I know Spanish now
He just brought a live lobster to the party.
Might call you tomorrow on a drunken hate filled rant, or just a normal hate filled rant, either way be ready.
Just when I thought we may have our first low-key night together, I sang an Aladdin karaoke song to a bunch of roller derby girls, you took shots with married women, and we both fell asleep in our offices.
Randomize
