My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
I'm ready for this little girl to leave so I can hit the bong already
Just because you were able to pour the entire bottle of wine into 2 glasses does not mean you took it easy last night.
Change of plans. Theres a bouncy castle setup in my apartment complex.
I'm pretty sure they kept making references about gangbanging me but I was too stoned to catch on, I just sat there and stared at his kitten.
His hands kept asking for sex, but all I could think was "dude, this is going to ruin my high".
Need your help. Dad's drunk and trying to build a still in the basement.
NM he's asleep in a pile of towels. They need to ease people back into Hockey Night in Canada.
I had her buy me a cock ring, so we might test that out. We are presently playing yahtzee.
Cock rings and yahtzee. Like peanut butter and jelly.
She had an asthma attack and had to stop but insisted on getting me off. It's official she's the one
YOU HAVE BEEN BAD TOUCHED BY THE LEPRECHAUN OF CHOICES
Just did. I played that shit out so casual I deserve an Oscar. Or am Emmy, or whatever the fuck you get for acting like a boss
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
dude you know how i got totally hammered and lost my phone at some frat when i came to visit you two months ago? yeah well someone mailed it back to me in minnesota.. with a picture of a cock as the screen savor
drinking vodka out of a wine glass to feel a little bit classier about myself.
I want to disappear from this job like a fart in the wind.💨
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