their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
I chose taco bell over sex...
good choice.
I love seeing the creepers that friend request me outside of facebook. its like seeing a unicorn in the middle of campus.
my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.
Just ate cheeseit crumbs off the floor. i feel like Kirstie Alley.
I'm using my ex boyfriends dog to find a guy at the park I could see fuck buddy potential in. I'm the queen of irony.
Hey, you guys have all had chicken pox, right?
stuck in the elevator with that hot guy from the 3rd flood. Worried he can smell my spray tan and desperation
You're married and I'm going to make out with a stranger tonight. Isn't that weird? It's like a gap in the time space continium.
I'm pretty sure the guy in front of me at Walmart doesn't have good plans. It's one am he is buying a flash light and black bandanna
I am disappointed by everyone's lack of ability to dance on a stripper pole:(
Stop your judging. I got free booze AND an oil change. You're the one whose always saying we're spending too much money.
At least you didn’t announce to an entire bar you’ve eaten pussy, and then knocked your beer over.
you called me drunk last night to talk about summoning sex demons with magic WTF
dont you DARE use my tequila influenced words against me
Randomize
