somehow in between the body shots the bong hits and trying to convince the 7-11 lady to let me fill up my vodka bottle with cherry slurpee. i misplaced my car.
I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
The baby slept soo good last night. Its like he knows the importance of me being intoxicated all weekend.
Dude she was 62...with a boob job. And I'm proud to say I made out with that.
You were sad because he was "taking it out on the plant"
We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
You called in. Quitter. You stayed at home naked drinking again didnt you.
they paper machayed me.
i told you ... never pass out drinking with preschool teachers.
Had sex and ran 2.8 miles all before 7:30am. This is going to be a very productive Monday.
we all thought you were asleep. he found you an hour later sitting outside in the snow lighting a bowl, singing the CatDog theme song, and hugging a box a Franzia.
I re-seduced my fuck buddy...must be the luck of the Irish!
I think we ended 5-7 relationships as well this weekend...so another good stat
I made a bucket list last night. Number 5: Will marry a wizard.
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
I got subtly pornographic with a lollipop while we were talking and he got flustered and started to blush. If he’s not interested after that I need to turn in my vagina card.
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