maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
The child next door sounds like he's having vigorous sex in the backyard and it's making me very, very uncomfortable. I don't want to look.
This guy just came in and told me how he bought a clock for his cat so his cat can know when he's coming home...
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
Ok so in the last 18 months I have now driven four different dudes into counseling. I'm like heroin with a vagina.
I can't talk to her. I know entirely too much about her genitals to hold a conversation without mentioning them.
Laying in bed nude eating a Big Mac with a cat. It's gonna be a good year.
Im pretty sure my housekeeper high fived her on the way out this morning
someone needs to name a hurricane after you
Well. At least he's a gentleman. A gentleman satanist.
Remember when I got punched in the face on NYE last year? I don't
I think one of my ovaries is committing suicide. But that is a topic for another day.
We were in the uber and you were crying because you wanted to be an Olympic gymnast. The driver tried to console you and you just cried harder
Well when we Get drunk it gets rowdy. We could always attempt self-control. But historically and statistically speaking, we fail at that.
Randomize