Does it bother you that I left your underwear hanging in a tree at the zoo? i think the turtles are enjoying it.
I wish you could see the look on my boss's face right now.
wtf?
Before you passed out in the middle of the NHL 10 party you had to prove that you were a better fighter than Patrick Kane. Your not. Thanks for the black eye dipshit.
As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
Dude, you need to come clean your dates vomit off the ceiling. What in the hell were you guys doing?!
our conversations pretty much only consist of the phrase 'fuck you'. and the sex is fantastic. we've got a great thing going here.
Just because Aaron is a gender neutral name does not mean I am letting you name your baby after a drug dealer
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
WE SHOULD FUCK TWO GUYS THAT LIVE TOGETHER
THAT WOULD BE SO CONVENIENT WE COULD CARPOOL
You're invited to our X-games themed party. We have an ice luge and every time someone eats shit we drink. It's gonna be great.
i chased my gummy vitamins with cold bacon, never say I don't take care of myself
Apparently I was drunk enough to call he police station and ask if there was a problem with me.
i'm high and self actualising, please send help
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
I just kept eating and watching him slide down the stairs head first
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