I think id rather eat ped egg shavings.
These 5 days benders will be the death of me. Just living and breathing is a struggle right now.
keep an eye on me. i'm afraid that after a few more drinks i'll ask to borrow his wheelchair.
I realize now that I left my pants on that table in the downstairs bathroom at you house on Tuesday....
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
at 6am he came into my room and kicked me in the stomach. when i finally got up he was passed out in my hallway and the bathtub water was running
Wasn't a date. In exchange for artichoke dip I received a bj. And sex. It was a transaction.
We were pulling the glow sticks off of him and he just kept yelling, "my bones! You're taking my bones!" and asking me if I was on the crew team
Dude I broke her toilet blowing some dude. I wasn't going to turn down the 300$ he offered to fix it.
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
you told the police officer you wanted to be just like her one day but not a lesbian
dude...i punched my best friend in the face, broke up with my girlfriend, and shit my pants.......now i don't know which one to take care of first.
I may have taken the entire adderall. I FEEL LIKE THE FUCKIN HULK. I can't stop cleaning and organizing and doing the clean things
I can always count on you to keep my boobs honest
Omg. I checked my purse this morning and I'm pretty sure drunk me stole a frat guys tube of crest 3d white toothpaste. Like that's pretty fucked up but I think if I knew someone did that to me I'd probably still invite them over again cuz I'd be like, "this girl's creative, and has good hygiene."
Randomize
