Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
I told him next time he kisses her to remember where that mouth has been...
How'd that go?
Hes on his way with a baseball bat...
They threw me out of the bar because I was arguing business ethics with the owner of th bar
Dude.. You paid a stripper $50 to listen to you cry last night.
i seriously just licked my laptop for traces of blow from the other night
it was either a really good one night stand or a really really good first date. thank you online dating
I would ask why there is a chair tied to the door of the fridge.. but I am not sure anyone knows the answer.
I tried to tell him I love him but it came out something like "We're both fucked up and it works."
We were naked in bed for hours and we didn't have sex. Either he's gay or he wants to respect me. Neither of which I approve of.
Maybe if he'd step up his game and get a real job instead of donating plasma and trying to grow pot then you wouldn't feel compelled to write prisoners in Oregon.
Get up, biotch, before I come traipsing in there to rip apart whatever god-forsaken spoon you have going on between the two of you and your dog.
the shoes thing blows my mind idk how the fuck i did that and im also missing 4 of my birth control pills like did i drunkenly decide to overload my body with estrogen
Just got home from work. I'm going to change into sweats for a while before I have to wear normal pants to the party like I promised.
Jarrod's passed out on the chair with a cup of milk and I've been staring him down in an attempt to use telepathy to make him spill it. Attempts unsuccessful.
Made out with sailor moon tonight. Childhood dreams do come true.
Randomize
