Glad I put on jeans. You could measure my ass sweat with a rain guage.
wow... just woke up to find out that the OJ we used in my bong last night was poured back into the carton
we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
I'm cooking a can of baked beans on the baseboard heater. It is too early in the semester to be this poor.
Be careful there's warming lubricant on the floor. I will clean and explain later.
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
You were holding up a boot and yelling boot gang
I've already made the "blackout on move in day" decision
I drank enough to tranq a steed. You really missed out
And he came by and picked me up. We cuddled in his car then had sex until... an officer doing his rounds put a spotlight on crazy haired, naked me straddling him.
Like he was inside me when I made eye contact with a police man.
This time last year, you were undressing me from my gecko costume and getting freaky in a public bathroom. Tough to top that New Years Eve.
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
I'm so happy we share a mutual love of laughing at religion.
I was having a dream that I was swimming in a pool filled with melted chocolate but woke up to find I had poured chocolate milk all over my body
I feel like the physical embodiment of the pot leaf eyes smiley face
Randomize
