she made me cover her fishbowl with my shirt because she "didn't want to corrupt it."
I want to get laid tonight but my sheets haven't been washed since vomiting in them on Halloween :(
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
Less talking, more tequila
I wish we could skip the pretense of being normal and just start drinking wine with breakfast
Lab coat again saves the day - hiding embarrassing shart evidence...
Don't be alarmed by all the Dick cakes in the fridge. But please don't eat..i accidentally broke one in half you guys can eat that one. Its labeled free Dick
I hummed the theme from jaws while she was taking the pregnancy test....needless to say she was not pleased
yea so the plan to relive our college glory days was great and all but ending up in the er with alcohol poisoning was crossing the line
Yes we can sext. I'm taking my socks off.
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
I just hooked up with the German exchange student who doesn't speak English. And you said I have no talent.
Remeber when we went camping and fucked those two guys? Yeah me either but I'm covered in poison oak so I'm guessing it's from that.
My face is going numb. I think it's time I call it quits
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
Randomize
