All I have in my fridge is chocolate cake, pizza, spicy mayo sauce, beer, and weed. I love college
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
Dude you spent the last hour of the night in the bathroom crying, asking someone why you will never be as smart as Mr.Feeney from boy meets world.
You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
Somebody started a fire in the kitchen. I puked on it till it went out. The firemen high fived me.
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
When we found you, you were using the bottle of Captain as a pillow...with a note on your forehead that said don't wake up the champion.
Because selling drugs to kids never goes out of business. We get older, they stay the same stupid.
I threw up in the darkest corner of the bar last night, then watched 2 girls freak out in disgust after walking through it. I then realised I puked on the dancefloor, took a picture and proceeded to send it to my mom.
Blacked out drunk in California and woke up somewhere in Arizona, I'm pretty sure I got here on foot
3 words: harry potter burlesque. My life is so much more awesome than yours right now.
Everything is fine, it's not hung over in here at all\n\n*Narrator* *but in fact everything was not fine*
He sent me a snap with the dog tongue filter. I might have to bench him.
I remember reading the word "lift" so I did. The alarn went off, and I thought to myself "what dumbass pulls the fucking fire alarm?" and then I realized it was me...
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