just tell him he has love handles, he'll die of insecurity
i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
Its piss that you smell... I borrowed that shirt last week. Sooo, wanna grab some laundry soap on your way home? And good luck on your date.
Sorry about last night..I didnt realize how drunk you were and when I closed the door it caused you to slam into the mirror...you'll probably piece together the puzzle when you read this and see your hand.
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
I jerked him off and then punched him in the face for no reason. Typical evening drinking Sailor Jerry's.
He told me to fuck off at some point in the night. I think it was right before he jumped out of a moving car trying to get to another bar and made Abby cry.
I feel like my nipples were chewed on by alligators.
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
I got picked up after "I just threw up in my face". Then I had very specific instructions involving the bathtub.
He's pretty cool once you ignore the fact that he's trying to get into your pants
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
Nothing better then waking up to multiple snap stories of people doing body shots of tequlia off of you
They are like the regular squirrels and we are flying squirrels
Randomize
