you know how you have to have just the right ratio of chips to sandwich? same goes for pubes.
i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.
Shotgunned a beer while taking a bath.
Well on a positive note, crystal light now comes in margarita flavor
Apparently I've been blackout drunk doing abstract algebra on the floor
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
It's 3:30pm, I've been out of bed for an hour and spent most of that barfing. We're switching to beer next debate.
She makes him look at her naked pics before she sends them to someone she's actually going to fuck. I think this makes him mayor of the friend zone.
Took "drink until he's cute" to a whole new level last night...
Yo, how much weed can I get for a caf swipe?
I woke up on a park bench with a nice homeless guy waking me up. I bought us Carl's Jr. Best birthday ever!
A dozen fresh-baked cookies delivered to my dorm AND I don't have chlamydia or gonorrhea... Could this night get any better??
Girl behind me in line at CVS was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan B soon she might be a mom and that if we couldn't tell she'd be a horrible mom
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