They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
sexting loses it's worth when you accidentally text your boss.
Just saw the pics you left in my phone. thanks for reminding me that last night was not a dream.
just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
To drunk to make oatmeal. I'm pouring it into my mouth and gargling it with beer. Ive made maple brown sugar bud light
Could someone please explain the rug burn on the right side of my face and do I need a shot of penicillin?
He can spot Burberry from half a bar away. He's not into vag
My final act is to send you this message. I love you. Tell my family that I love them. Except my dad. Tell him I said "Eh..." while rocking your hand side to side. And tell Tim that I will always love the idea of him. Tell Caleb I love him so. Take care of Miss Kitty Fantastico. Tell the world that I will watch over. Good bye. I love you.
dude I just found tht weird ass guy u invited last night passed out in my closet.... apparently he "couldn't find the exit"
Everyone is out there getting real jobs and I just realized I've been "washing" my clothes with fabric softener for two months.
You tried to prove you weren't drunk by loudly singing the romanian national anthem. Why the fuck do you even KNOW the romanian national anthem?
Did you clean my apartment?
I thought it was a dream, I'm sorry
Please stay more often
Randomize
