maybe we dont have boyfriends because we dont have tans
And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
i lost my airplane ticket and tried to board with a bar receipt in all the confusion. i have officially lost all brain cells in college.
Became best friends with the hotdog stand creeper outside the bar. Cried and told him my feet hurt too much to walk home then begged him to hire me.
I was fingering her, she was moaning, and we were singing Mulan
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
He ripped off my pantyhose and all I could think was, "oh no those were clinic-appropriate!" That's what I get for ditching a continuing education meeting to go hook up with my scuba instructor.
Never in a million years thought I would have to put jello shot recipe/equation into an excel spreadsheet
He was telling me about how he's leaving on his Mission next week... While we were having sex in the back of his car.
Let's just say, I will never again lick an asshole.
I’m honestly just flattered that you think I could make PornHub’s Top 10.
She made me watch three musicals and then told me she was too tired for me to stay over. I think I'm being punished but I have no clue what I did.
Coworker just walked in thirty minutes late reeking like weed and clutching a handful of scratch-off tickets. Also, there’s still a stripper pole in my office. Happy Wednesday!
Randomize
