i'm telling everyone you had sex with a puerto rican drug lord
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
Dude you need to stop whoring out my boobs. They are for emergencies only.
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
It's not my theme song, it's my blowjob song. There's a difference.
It's like he's trying to get head in every car except his.
Did you get my bra back of the bartender?
I seriously think we need to revision your idea of 'keeping a low profile'
I'm drunk and you're awesome. let's stay this way forever.
How many people can say they've shit on the floor of a five star hotel?
This is three metal detector wands away from being the strangest porn I have ever been in the audience for.
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
You leaned over to me in the elevator and whispered "how long do I have to pretend to be sober?"
So drunk me is not subtlety trying to get her boss to cheat on her husband and have a lesbian affair with me. Sober me is ok with that.
Yea.. And you'll love me a whole lot more when I start letting my vagina make all the decisions..
Randomize
