I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
Just found my girlfriend's stash of animated Japanese porn
And to think, I actually considered breaking up with her
everytime she opens her mouth i wish that i was deaf
Fail #1 I puked off the balcony onto the balcony below us and when I tried to pour water on it in the morning to wash it off it just went all over their deck. Sorry room 1342 but welcome to Jamaica
the chick you hooked up with on my couch facebook friended me.
just thought you should know her name is kristen
i was staring at it trying to desperately see a vagina
pouring popcorn down my shirt before we went to the bar was the best idea ever. it was delicious and convenient.
Yeah, I think they knew. I smelled like that telltale combination of strippers and Easter.
I just saw my first passed out person, sprawled out on the sidewalk like they died. I wanted to take a pic but I thought that screamed "tourist"
Do you think they make a "sorry in my drunken debauchery I dropped a pumpkin off the balcony and you happened to be standing right there/get well soon" card?
This is true. I'm still having Jess write "no drugs" on my left hand and "except weed" on my right hand
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
I have so many feelings about this burrito
1. Everyone on the 1st and 3rd floor heard you. 2. The 3rd floor vibrates when we have sex. 3. The 1st floor can hear the bed squeak.
He ate me out on a washing machine in the 24 hour laundromat. Whoever watches that security camera footage is getting a show!
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