In all seriousness though I just found out the dog pissed in my bed it'd be nice to crash somewhere other than my couch while my piss soaked bedding is in the washer
We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
does it bother you that i swallowed like millions of your unborn children
actually, i try not to think about it
and i pooped them out
fuck. did you have to draw it on me with a permanent marker
it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
it was just fiscally responsible to stop going to strip clubs where the strippers recognized me
You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
The stripper on stage Is eating a mozzarella stick while on the pole....that's a new level of I don't give a fuck
He gave them shots of purell and called it "acid rain" jello shots. They took them.
I hate freshman.
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
It was literally like being eaten out by a dog. That bad.
She said she wanted to have closure sex.
It was the classiest, most strategic and inspired vomiting I've ever witnessed. Like a blind mans first sunrise. A priests first prayer. Or a virgins first orgasm.
I need a present that says please like me even though i'm banging your grandson
Also at one point I told him to say my name and it took him like 5 seconds to remember.
Randomize
