I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
found out this morning via facebook that the guy i met last night has a wife and a baby and he took me to his apartment where he takes girls to cheat on his wife
i mean you met him at the daytona 500
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
Think I just saw your homeless guy on High Street. Did you give him back his crutch?
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
I think Vodka is my favorite. Everything else ties for second.
I sent him a bunch of texts telling him that his beard wasn't long enough yet so we couldn't fuck and to text me back in a few hours if it had.
I think pretend fucking a camel is a good thing to do downtown. They loved me.
I'm hoping the sedatives kick in before I drunkenly decide to eat this whole cheesecake.
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.
He said watch this and then went and tripped into a group of 40 year old women, now he's leaving the club with them.
Awesome. I did a rain go away dance. And it went away. Nbd just cotrollin the weather with my mind and sweet dance moves
I wanted to make my beer stronger so I poured vodka in it. Why god....why
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