I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
Is there any way to un-invite somebody to a wedding? I just checked out the other family, and I can't have a cockblock there.
Last night you were talking while puking saying, "ahh the shoes and the purse, I'm gonna have to wash those"
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
just found $310, wrapped in a rubber band, at the bottom of my sock drawer with a note attached stating, "Make it rain".
it's 10:36pm. Do you know where your penis should be?
The more and more I drink I keep rationalizing banging eye patch girl
Last time he went to Europe, every time he started drinking he would wake up in a different country with no memory. There is no way he can be tour leader.
I literally just smashed open my grade school piggy bank for beer money. Goodbye childhood. Hellllllo coin night.
REWARD BLOWJOB!! STAY RIGHT WHERE YOU ARE I'LL BE THERE IN FIVE MINUTES.
In bathroom. Hand in air with cell phone. Help.
He came on my favorite pants. He is dead to me.
I have tasted many bathrooms
You know I base where I go on the likelihood of me getting laid there. This includes work.
Randomize
