I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
The taxi driver was cool until you left. He then started blasting enya and telling me I look like I need another line.
You would be married by May if you put half as much energy into getting straight guys as you do into getting gay guys
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
I mean we had sex in a crib. You tell me how my night was.
Just doin' what I do best: sitting in a stall in the class building's bathroom, pondering life and exploring deep, dark corners of the internet before class.
I love how my phone automatically capitalizes Margarita. R-e-s-p-e-c-t.
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
FUCK and YOU. times 10. To infinity and beyond. You bastard. Worst. Cockblock. Ever. I'm going to nail your sister.
We kinda got asked to leave the strip club and on the way out, you fell again. When you finally got up we got a standing ovation from the girls behind the bar and you took a bow. It was awesome.
By the way can you translate "sorry, she played you bruh" to Spanish? Some Hispanic guy who spoke absolutely no English callled me last night and when I tried to tell him he had the wrong number the response was "como? No no no no...." And then click. He was gone
I'm supposed to be at work in 10 min, I just woke up and am 45 min away...tinder for the win
They offered me pot brownies in 7 minutes flat. Imagine my horror when I had to be like, are those gluten free?
I ate at the cafeteria for the first time yesterday and today I think I had an hour long fart.
Randomize
