I think your mom looks like a breed of donkey and elephant, but her boobs are perfect
He is such a slut. More and more my type.
does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
no one will drink with you if you continue to listen to beyonce
Just took a shot out of a used mini planter. Might die from the pesticides, but didnt want whoever took all of my shotglasses to think they won.
She kept sniffing my sweater and tried to guess what type of detergent I use.
I am here to underwhelm you with my vagina
I'm watching the World Cup in bed naked with john and our USA flag aviator glasses. Can you say America?
My greatest accomplishment today was eating a box of Thai food the size of a toddler.
Allow me to explain. Triple D is a surprise. It's like if you're expecting to fight one person, then you get ambushed by more. Except it's a good ambush, because it's boobs, not death.
Seltzer and cocaine. Life is flawless right now.
No, I didn't meet up with him! That's when I had chlamydia.
His parents then knew me as the blackout who took care of him and stole his watch
Wakes up in a cold sweat at 3am, 136 unread messages and the preview on the notification is "I JUST GOT TO THE INCEST PART"
Randomize
