I wish orgasms lasted as long as the pain from rug burn
thanks for celebrating my birthday so severely 2 years ago. i just found your hospital discharge papers in my closet.
anything for my little brother.
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
I've spent more money on drugs for bonnaroo than my actual ticket. Proudly.
He explained how that handle got into our fridge. I think i'm going to stick with my original assumption that the vodka gods want me to drink more vodka.
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
They told you that you couldn't fit in the dryer. Man, did they eat their words. You did brake the door though.
Woke her up in the middle of the night with the smell from a fart. So proud of my colon.
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
My boobs keep hanging out of this shirt. I think thats the style I'm going for tonight
How did you end up breaking into that laundromat at 3am? I saw the snapchat but like..... How?
I want to buy weed from this guy on Tinder but I'm not sure I should trust him...but it's free delivery
i guess i fuck people who own bucket hats so i can't talk shit
You really need to not quote Anchorman while I'm giving you a serious blowjob.
Sorry for peeing on your books last night. I wouldn't leave them next to the window anymore.
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