come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
My mom just admitted you were a good looking kid & if you weren't my friend & 30 years older she would do you. I'm going to commit suicide.
I think you begin to realize how unfair life really is when you're high and you discover that the new box of fruit by the foot on your shelf is actually empty
Mom said you looked used
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
If I drank a glass of water for every drink I had I'd die of water intoxication like some tweaked out looser at a rave
This is how baked we were last night. Our drinking game: We stare at each other; first one to laugh drinks.
I had a dream about that dude. It was the first time I had a dream about him since the tryst.
The tryst?
The hookup. I like using sophisticated words for my foolish decisions. Makes me retain some dignity.
I've literally exhausted all the videos on pornhub. It took like 4 years, but I've done it. I did that quicker than I finished college
HE BEAT A GUY WITH NOTHING BUT RAZZLE DAZZLE AND HIS FABULOUSNESS
There are far too many naked dudes in your apartment, and they aren't even watching porn. I mean seriously, they've got the Lion King on.
OK... But I need to shower first because I'm covered in stuff I definitely shouldn't have slept in
You don't get to call me bro after you've had your dick in me.
I had to carry him up the hill while he was wearing nothing but knee high socks and a blue glitter sequin leotard.
Why is this not a picture message?
Brother gave me a harry potter philosophy book for xmas we need to get stoned and talk about this.
Randomize
