Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
my facebook friend requests are always from girls of boyfriends i have fucked, facebook is the worst reminder of shame
my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
I just found a video on my phone from last night of you yelling, "you can't fuck me!" at least 20 times
Im eating these cheese filled pretzels. So good. Theres jizz dripping out places i didnt even know i had.
I sobered up in the middle of it, that I was hooking up with him in a rosemary bush. I woke up smelling like a pasta dish
I woke up wearing a lax pinnie under my shirt, a triathlon medal, and a dora backpack... I think I had fun
Mostly what I remember is someone saying "raise your hand if you're too turnt" then raising my hand and falling
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
I had a dream that I got you so wet that you flooded my apartment
I JUST SAW MY THERAPIST OUTSIDE OF WORK AND I DONT KNOW THE ADULT THING TO DO
I just got a text giving me an hour window for when my vibrator is gonna be delivered. If that's not awesome customer service, I don't know what is.
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
Randomize
