Bigbird is at the bar Im at. whats her name
I hid 4 bags of cocaine in your house. Have fun finding them
You came in at two thirty, wearing your underwear and a tie then asked where you could find a sombrero and a pair of stilletos that would fit your men's size thirteen feet.
is it customary for a bride to wear white even if she's a whore? i feel tie-dye would have been more accurate
So I cleaned the toilet last night at 2 am and woke up with pink eye. Never doing that again.
Just threw up in the garbage can outside the liquor store... I'm pretty sure that's some sort of distress signal.
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
There are cops on horseback in our back yard
I sent two dick pics to a wrong number and one was in .gif format so it was helicoptering all over the place. I single handedly ruined a child's life.
I don't remember how I broke my nose last night, but I woke up with dried blood everywhere. Also, you should tell that guy how you feel.
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
My dad lost his bandaid somewhere in the turkey. It was a mixture of thanksgiving and an Easter egg hunt
I've officially dedicated my newly single life to making myself squirt.
He's getting so into these sexts, I hate to tell him I'm fully clothes, watching Bring It On and eating chips and salsa.
Wait, you met him on Onlyfans? The guy from last night? Which one of you is the fan?
Because one of you banged your stalker
Randomize
