Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
I just hemmed my dress for halloween, never felt more like a man
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
the fact that i fell through a skylight is the least humiliating part of the night
Make sure you take the apple pie out of your pocket before you pass out.
Ok but if you die you have to get "I should've listened to Mike" carved into your tombstone
He made me this shot called the allergen. It was a shot of vodka with a Claritin dropped in it.
I know it sucks but it's just something that needs to be done though. Like shaving ur pubes or going to the dentist.
'lets look at pictures of your friend's new baby' was probably the worst post-sex idea we've ever had
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
Why yes. I did get laid looking like that. My sheets look like there was a clown orgy
This is not a costume party, I'm just wearing fairy wings.
Of course you are.
i have to vacuum my washing machine now, asshole
I think everyone, including the amish, know who you are after this weekend.
I've talked to too many cops in one week and I haven't even committed any crimes. I hate the suburbs
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