His shirt was in the kitchen sink this morning, I'm pretty sure my roommates know.
She was really sick last night--but i was too drunk to bring her chicken noodle soup after the bar, so went by taco bell and got her a chicken burrito instead
We're not too concerned with getting her out of jail. We're on a mission for donuts.
I'm drinking vodka out of a coffee pot. and i'm not even mad about it
he stopped talking to me after i tried to use his body as a surf board
I'm sports announcer narrating myself making a sandwich. Your weed wins.
Plus, I've always wanted to drive in rush hour with a huge cock drawn on my hood
When you and that girl went into the bedroom, you yelled "FOR NARNIA!"
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
He showed me his night stand drawer...it has one too many sex things in it.
Exactly how many...is TOO many?
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
I don't know, I think having hemorrhoids shows character. You have to be trying pretty hard to get them.
Good news, my sex bruises are fading. Bad news, my boobs look like I have a skin disease because of it.
I went to an 8am hookup in another guys sweatpants. Who is the really player here?
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
Randomize
