operation harelip BJ is a go
Apparently the guard had to repeat "you're too drunk to get in" three times before I understood. I guess he was right.
Last night she showed me how to clean my bowl and now she's drunk making peanut butter filled cookies. Best. Roommate. Ever.
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
What's that word that means bigger and smaller and bigger and smaller, again?
Goddamn it, Jaime, it's 4am. Throbbing. The word is throbbing.
I told the cop to try walking in heels and he'd understand why I was walking home without then on. He told me he only does that on Wednesdays.
You can't text people with drinkers' regret at 8 in the morning. It's just bad form.
GOVERNMENT SHUTDOWN NO RULES ICE CREAM FOR BREAKFAST woooo!
I say camping because "let's go get hammered in the woods" sounds kinda fucking weird to be honest.
I promise not to pretend to be Jesus and take the wheel. But to my credit you shouldn't be saying that while I'm that drunk and we are in a car.
It's the Ides of March, motherfucker. That means we're supposed to daydrink, right?
Edible... I FEEL CLOSER TO THE UNIVERSE AND I DEF TRAVELED IN TIME. I THINK I CAN READ MINDS NOW.
Listen gotta draw the line somewhere. Apparently that line is at my nuts.
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