Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
you said "tonight pinky, we take over the world" and then came in my face
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
You're gonna be proud in the future that you fucked the next bill gates
I'm pretty sure the girl in the stall next to me is waiting on me to leave so she can poop but I'm doing the same thing so it's like a Mexican standoff
Her text was so long it had an arrow to expand it. You know it's bad when even your iPhone can't handle her
Note to self: Never spend $8 on a liter of rum again
I ate a hotdog off the ground last night.
Nobody wants to date "Eats Taco Bell Secretly In Her Car" Girl
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
Why am I a human magnet for the worst dicks of the world?
I walked in..crop dusted the whole place then asked her if she wanted to go to a place that smells better.
You were always a thinker
I wanna get to the point where I can just send a question mark and get an exclamation point in response
You got up in the middle of a sentence, puked, came out and poured another glass of wine and continued your story.
Randomize