Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
so my phone autocorrects 'retard' to 'retaaahd'. i LOVE being a masshole!
The djing cat is back again. I think he just makes appearances when im shit drunk just to fuck with my mind.
I tipped the hot bartender my entire wallet. Again.
I think that the winner of this years fantasy football league should get naming rights to you child
Good idea. You gotta take care of your vagina. She takes care of you. Pay it forward.
I just blurted out "it's pretty tight isn't it"
Like do you hear me I PUKED IN MY OWN HANDS AND HE STILL SAID I WAS GORGEOUS
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
I have already put on my inside pants.
I drove them away with my sparkling personality and LOTR references.
death bed.
death patio
stfu you slept on the patio!?!
her nickname was handjob. I knew what i was getting into.
I JUST NEEDED TO TELL YOU I JUST FUCKED TWO BOYS IN THE SPAN OF LIKE THREE HOURS AND ONE OF THEM WAS MY SISTERS PROM DATE FROM HIGH SCHOOL IM LOWKEY BOTH PROUD AND ASHAMED
So apparently I’m into choking now
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