no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
We fucked to techno music while he wore shin guards... best sex ever.
the coastal evacuation route ends at my vagina so you can just skip the bullshit and come over
No, absolutely not. If you see that cunt, throw confetti or eggs at her.
That's a pretty extreme jump from confetti to eggs
My final act is to send you this message. I love you. Tell my family that I love them. Except my dad. Tell him I said "Eh..." while rocking your hand side to side. And tell Tim that I will always love the idea of him. Tell Caleb I love him so. Take care of Miss Kitty Fantastico. Tell the world that I will watch over. Good bye. I love you.
Is selling savings bonds for acid money something a normal person does?
How do you tell a woman that you are seeing that the scars on your back are from her awesome-in-bed little sister?
Take your time. I'm mowing the lawn. In the dark. Drunk.
I think the fact that I stole someone's mail and broke my big toe means that I should consider taking some time away from vodka
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
I just matched the dude who's car I rear ended 2 years ago on tinder. I don't think he remembers.
HE WILL NEVER BE ONE OF US. HE WILL NEVER BE A DECENT, GOD-FEARING WHORE.
I just spontaneously learned how to embroider at three in the morning.
I also almost burned the house down in the process. Don't ask me how. It's a long story.
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
Randomize
