yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
Awkward moment #23: reasuring mom that the bf and I aren't having sex as seamen is running down my leg...
He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned
I put the extra pregnancy test in my sex toys box as a reminder that my actions have consequences.
like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
I pulled my bra out of my dress and handed it to my mom..at cocktail hour during the wedding.
Out of desperation, I used the leftover sauce from my goat masala as a mixer for vodka shots.
god. I was just thinkin about the fact that there was a time in our life when we didn't drink.
well don't blame me. sometimes vibrators go missing and people get angry. these things happen
Well puke fest 2014 just happened
My roommates don't agree with the whole tv in the bathroom idea. Fucking barbarians.
Look, if this is a cop, just lemme know that Mike is ok. Fuckin all star game
Now i know i wasnt that drunk... So why are there texts of me volunteering for a nude photo shoot for an art major student?
yeah true but how easily can you rip a scrotum
Crazy homeless man drinking beer out of a vitamin water container on the bus just set me up on a date with the yuppie next to him
Randomize
