my mom just served us mashed potatoes with an ice cream scoop. When I asked her why, she said she thought it would make dinner 'more fancy'...
imagine how many guys you'd have sex if you didn't recieve your monthly gift.
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
I feel eeeverything like there's a rhythm and everything can be felt w/o ever touching it. And it's beautiful. Sunshine or raindrops it's like orgasming. Everything has a taste.
If i had 4 hands right now is have booze in 3 of them and my cock in the other all because you went to denver. just sayin.
Next time he asks to wax your nipple while you're passed out I promise I'll be sober enough to intervene.
If life deals in absolutes, the in betweens are the most hairy.... Fortune cookie wisdom from a stoned Megan.
They sent me to the hospital. Apparently, of the many things I said, I looked at the doctor and told him, "Wow... it's like you're a REAL DOCTOR!"
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
What the hell do you have that is more important than a GIANT WATER SLIDE?
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
Just got a motivational speech from the tacobell drive thru guy at 2am
At one point I was convinced he was a snake and was going to eat me And I just accepted it
Imma go take shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
As much as I hate to admit it, some day ill need a man because I can't open jars myself and you can't 69 a dildo
Like I don't even know how to respond to this?
Randomize
