Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
dude.. you lit a cigarette on the bus and told the driver it was okay because you were fire marshall of your boy scout troop
It's taken me 5 years and 2 beers to finally realize that maybe he isn't the dude for me. Also, that picking your major should be done sober, lest you find your self an art major.
do you think this outfit says "I maintained my dignity this weekend"?
It would have to be recorded, because that sex tape would be humanity's primary evidence of miracles
We should get Al Michaels to provide commentary for it.
You can't have your cake and publicly stick your dick in it too
Just got stuck in an elevator on campus with a ton of British guys. My pants almost pulled themselves down.
I mean in all honesty I would let James Franco shit on my chest. End of story
i'm eating pizza lunchables and telling my boyfriend he can do better than me because i am a functional adult
You would think by the size of the lump on my ass that I would have remembered falling down a flight of stairs.
If not, I can murder my liver twice...it's like a cat, it has 9 lives
you woke up this morning in a laundry basket, only wearing rainboots.
I accidentally just texted my dad asking if he wants to do shrooms with me. Do I leave the city now or...
I'm completely creeped out. He's dressed as me. And thinks it's funny.
Randomize