Awww my brother is growing up soo fast!! He just gave me the, "I know you're high but I won't tell mom n dad" look!
he's dressed up as spiderman, i don't understand why he's crying.
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
I like to think of them as justice herpes. She cheats on me and gets more than she bargained for.
I did a hand stand against the glass wall at Ziggy's with no panties on and got 3 phone numbers. Thank God I shaved this morning...
I swear I can feel something in my uterus. Like, I can feel his sperm searching for an egg. Wtf...
She followed me back, then proceeded to find my room, get her panda suit on? And then raid my room and pass out on my couch... what the fack do I do now?!?!
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
He told me to take off work and bring a bathing suit. If this doesn't involve six flags hurricane harbor or sex in a hotel pool I'm going to be disappointed.
It's entirely possible that I'm fucking yet another gay guy
Which president had the biggest dick?
Take your time, I'll wait
Hey, I'm just seeing how you're doing and letting you know I fucked your dad last night. Don't fuck with me.
I've got a bottle of water, a bag of salad greens, and a bottle of hot sauce. How stoned do you think I am?
Randomize
