what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
she came over and started getting naked and said its not like i came over to just hang out
youve hit the jackpot
Doctor said I have sports induced asthma.
Call me old fashioned, but around here we call that "out of shape."
Why's my alcoholism being used to prove a point?
do you find it slutty that the last person I had sex with is also the person who sings my ringtone ?
Saw a guy throw up on himself while walking, drinking, and singing all at the same time. Hope your night is going better than his :)
Can I color on your dick again?
Well, I watched a girl proposition a shit ton of people, try to take a cocktail waitresses job and then proceed to walk into a wall. Damn, I'm a little jealous.
I feel like we have both made good decisions regarding our vaginas lately
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
I'm having a martini with dinner. A new level of class.
I'm stoned and eating mustard, also a new level of class.
My purpose is to unleash drunk self on strangers, i believe as some terrifying icebreaker, otherwise i too would offer my driving services.
I'm giving head in a stairwell, I'll be back in a few minutes. I'm so ashamed.
You should come over tomorrow. Wine, pizza and my vagina. Those are all great things.
She is carving a little coffin out of some wood for her hamster that died. I'm flying home tonight.
Randomize