I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
Dude she has a fucking rock collection. Never will I ever talk to her again.
I wish real life had facebook tags so i could figure out who all these people are
her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
When they say "all expenses paid" does that include bail?
Yeah. I realized I have a weakness for drugs and I need to move somewhere where I don't know how to find them.
Also, if you all get arrested i'm coming to laugh at you because i don't have the money for bail.
He fed us edamame like baby birds. Slowly all coming back to me.
Single lady's Saturday night: eat doritos, masturbate, eat more doritos. Do shot of Jager. Repeat until desired result is achieved.
Underoos and an IDGAF attitude: all you need to successfully win at life
(Underoos optional)
Also, my old intern Lizzie whom you fed pizza to last night wants to hang out with you
Also apparently I made a "cake sandwich"--yeah smashed a massive piece of cake between two slices of bread....fucking tequila
That's just how I roll. I drink, then tell people I'm either not wearing underwear or I'm training to be a stripper.
Regardless I WANT TO BE YOUR SEX DISPENSARY. that is like the career I was born for.
Randomize
