The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
why is allison so mad at me??
me and her walked into dans and you yelled "hello my dear alli, you're looking mighty overweight today!".
crap..
July fourth my place, drunken bubble slip n slide. Yes this is happening and yes I am 31
I want to be the sort of person he can respect in the morning once the drugs wear off.
i think the last part kind of negates the first part there
I know it sounds all cute and shit that I wanted him to be with me last night, but it's not cute. I just wanted to fuck.
I think the biggest problem with being overhigh is when the kitchen was on fire and I was pointing and laughing and eating rootbeer oreos like it was fucking Ozzfest 2000
I'm not breaking up with him because his husky is having puppies.
If he doesn't get here soon I'm taking off my thong and eating his dinner.
I'm saying "I told you so" now so that I don't slow down to say it on the way to grab the fire extinguisher
He referred to his penis as "The Purple Headed Yogurt Slinger." I'm both disgusted and turned on
He spilled some of his beer on your shoulder then proceeded to lick it off. By the face you made, I don't know if you were completely horrified or really turned on.
He puked all over the side of the car and the head rest behind him...and then all he said was "America."
hey, just so we're clear, next time we go swimming drunk at my house, we have to use the floating chairs instead of my mattress. i'm not sure how to get it out of the pool.
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
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