More tranny stories later!
The jonas brothers playing in your laptop. This is why guys won't sleep with you...
guess they didn't have any donuts in her size.
So apparently when I was 2, I went around drinking everybody's beer at some wedding, then passed out in a corner....
This explains a lot.
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
you asked my brother if you could eat the cupcake that you found. you were showing him a baked potato
Just sucked a bong hit straight from my girlfriends mouth & pretended I was a Dementor. Life just 87% more like HP.
Shit dude that sort of wholesale destruction can't just be done at the drop of a hat
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
oh the usual. high as balls and crying about the hunger games.
Apparently I blamed my BAC on the Saint Louis Cardinals...how is that not a valid excuse?!
Stumbled out of my bed this morning into the bathroom at 8 am still drunk, obviously. The Mormon on my floor was in the bathroom. I could practically hear her doing hail marys for me.
Wanna go get tea? Warning: I will be high in an hour.
I was pretty pissed in the morning when I realized he had fucked the fake tattoo right off my chest.
So bottomless mimosas = me waking up in a truck bed in a random neighborhood with no purse or phone or idea how I got there.
Randomize
