My mouth tastes like defeat. Did he at least have money?
It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
I'm a terrible person. There are two guys speaking sign language on the metro platform and at first I thought they were drunk and doing a silly dance.
Apparently I climbed into a dryer last night and refused to leave... There are pictures to prove it
Would you be offended if I asked you to smoke a blunt with me while I pooped?
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
Jesus told me in my dream not to go to the party. I am athiest for tonight PARTY ON
Don't you judge us. Sockets make ideal bowls
Did u know it's unconstitutional to turn down a shot during 4th of July celebrations.. Rest now dear liver
Pedi-lyte stocked
I'll take care of you. Just let me pee on this old white person's car first.
Fucked him in his sketchy van in the Applebee's parking lot. In other news, my dry spell is over.
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
you know you’re single when you try to cook yourself a nice pasta dinner but you’re too weak to open the container of sauce and theres no one around to help you
Someone's gotta tell him drunk sex comes before dating
He was gone when I woke up. But he left skid marks on my sheets and our unopened bottle of Titos is missing
New Rule: No more sleepovers with guys we met on Reddit
Randomize