yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours
Dude, the girl next to me just farted. Worst part, it smells like astroglide
so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
he made me have a moment of silence for the half of my ice cream cone i threw away.
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
1. Sorry about making it snow. 2. If it left a mess, I will be over to clean it. 3. Can that fire extinguisher still be used? If not, I'll buy a new one. 4. I just wanted to make it snow!
Human Centipede: The Drinking Game. This is non-negotiable. First one to pass out the rest of us get to FEEEEED THEM!
So..he has a girlfriend BUT she rarely writes on her wall and is only in 5 of his 371 tagged photos and her default pic is her with some other dude. It cant be serious
Oh my god you need to get off of facebook.
I owe you cheese. The drunk munchies don't acknowledge food ownership.
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
Just lectured your brother about using condoms when hooking up with girls he meets online. I should be a fucking life coach
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
I think you threw up on me last night but i can't remember so i'm not mad at you.
Ever find a porn video so groundbreaking you mentally cancel all your Dick Appointments for the week?
I was so drunk I got motion sickness from sex.
Randomize
