nut hugger
You tried to wear your Jesus costume into Family Christian stores and say it was a book signing.
Want to come to my BBQ and Blow party?
Just saying goodbye until I figure this whole "warrant out for my arrest" thing
I just made an agreement with this milf to shoot her daughters wedding in exchange for blow jobs. Going pro was the best choice I ever made.
I think I may have walked up to her while she was with her friends and asked for a "do over".
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
Yup. Dog walker, house sitter and mistress to the rich, bored and bi-curious. I've got a nice little operation running.
You fucked that MILF against my car!
How would you know?
She scratched her name into my window with her bigass wedding ring. btw she wants you to call her
I hope to God it's not the new neighbors having sex, because what I'm hearing sounds like a mildly defective vuvuzela or a cow giving birth.
I'm wearing the monkey suit out tonight. I hope you're ok with it leaving the bedroom
You popped the Plan B pill then clapped twice, said "mischief managed" and headed tward the bar.
Believe me honey Imma fuck the discount out of at least one plastic surgeon in my life
It was like a baby arm holding another baby arm holding an apple grove. Fuckin huge!
"I mean like shit happens" should never be an excuse for anything
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