dude, the reading rainbow guy was just talking to a HOLOGRAM
Are you sure you're not watching Star Trek?
wait... oh
carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
Just try to lay there and not be pregnant.
He adopted an old drug sniffing dog so that he won't lose his weed around the house anymore. It works.\n
im afraid if i stop breathing i will turn into a porcupine
The interviewer had a hook for his right hand I TRIED TO SHAKE HIS HOOK WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME
Made myself shower before I'd masturbate. I probably should have wined and dined myself too, but that's pushing it too far.
I just learned my tits were fire resistant. I should join the freakin circus
Before we fucked we both mutually agreed not to tweet about it.
But once you explained how to fill cupcakes with semen I realize you were harmless and right on my level.
You know it was a weird night when you find curly fries in your purse the next morning...
You don't have issues. You're a consenting adult having sex at work. Go you.
my nose is crying tears of wow.
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
Wtf did i hit my head on?
Tequila
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