Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
i just fingered the ice cream at home instead of getting a spoon
been there done that
I wish i could make my toaster dance like they do in the second ghostbusters. But i dont have ectoplasmic goo. Or a toaster.
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
I'm practically paying him in tacos to have sex with me.
You guys can't keep having sex with them and cleaning their house! They're never going to take you seriously!
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
Hey girl, do you remember you made me brush your hair with a plastic fork on Saturday night?
He wanted to drink hypnotic from my butt crack. I need to move out this state.
i spent my morning giving relationship advice to the kid i had sex with on a kitchen table this weekend
I never actually go in the club. I get in line, hit on a chick, and convince her to come drink all she wants for free at my house.
Also, I've finally come to the point in the relationship when having sex with socks on is ok.
Do you ever look at someone's Snapchat story and think ‘you told me you would eat my ass’?
Just packed vodka and spare underwear into my purse- totally set for watching the hockey with him tonight
She pooped on me during a reverse cowgirl. And it wasn't a little bit either.
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