:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
I'm using process of elimination to determine which of our neighbors i fucked last night.
hungover at the ER to get half my contact removed from behind my eye. Not the start to the weekend I was hopin for
Best surprise in my car. A cookie, sliced kiwi and the rest of my margarita. Work is going to be awesome.
So I craigslisted sugar daddies and I'm pretty sure I found us one if you can pretend to be asian.
Found out people don't like it when you get drunk at fundraising auctions and bid in foreign currencies.
I wish your snatch was here
If my snatch could sprout wings I'd fly to you
IT ISN'T. I'M A LITTLE HIGH.
YOU'RE ALWAYS A LITTLE HIGH.
NO. IT'S RARE THAT I'M A LITTLE HIGH. I'M ALWAYS HIGH AS FUCK. THERE'S A DIFFERENCE.
Are you wearing clothes?
Fuck no, who do you think I am
Yup he definitely fell asleep. I'm trying to bone an old man
A Morman just tried to recruit me and I told him "Trust me, you don't want me"
Long fucking story. But hey I got an orgasm and breakfast so I'm winning.
Randomize
