Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
we have officially mastered the walk of shame
halloween makes it hard to decipher real cops... from sexy men dressed up as them.
I save people's lives for a living, but I want to ruin his marriage.
He cut you off when you said Paula Dean was in your soul...He kicked you out when "Paula" started eating random peoples food
Scratch one off the douchebag bucket list. Just saw a guy in a sesame street tshirt and a tap out hat. Didn't get the memo that big bird's trying to get into mma.
It's amazing how not interested in talking to him I am since I've decided that he probably has chlamydia.
Next time I try to break into the police station drunk, please stop me.
You would only karaoke to Spanish songs, but sang with the accent of the french candle stick in beauty and the beast.
But seriously I might need help getting spray paint off of my body.... But don't worry about the penis I scrubbed him already
So basically I really like drugs AND banging cops and it's starting to get complicated
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
I'm too picky for internet dating and by picky I mean psycho.
The REAL engagement ring is the jeweled butt plug.
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